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  • Shane Fuller

How to quit porn

Updated: Jul 28

If it were easy to quit porn a lot of people would have done it by now. It's not easy, but it's worth it and you can do it.



First of all, you're probably reading this because you're sick of porn - me too. I'm sorry it's been a part of your life and I'm positive you can make it a habit of the past.


There is no magic bullet


In a world where you can have 6-minute abs or have a better spouse in 3 easy steps, you're bound to be disappointed when something takes time and effort. Tell me one good thing in your life that didn't require time and effort? The good stuff is the hard stuff. Porn and its effects are awful. Commit now to putting in hard work - it's worth it.


Change your mind


I know, easier said than done. What's your mindset about porn right now? Are you an addict? Is it nearly impossible to stop? Is it just second nature? You have to stop telling yourself these scripts. One of the biggest factors to make real, lasting changing is belief that you can actually determine your outcome. Right now, start believing: you're not an addict, you can stop, this isn't something you'll be dealing with in the future.


If you've done any amount of research on pornography use, you likely know the effects it has on your brain. Your mind quite literally rewires itself to make the pathway from desire to pleasure quicker and wider. Again, this isn't irreversible it just takes time. Hard work and effort - let's go.


Write a new story


In James Clear's book, Atomic Habits, he advocates for changing your identity before working on your actions. It's hard to start running if you're "not a runner" or reading if you're "not a reader". Well, it's difficult to stop watching porn if you're "a porn user". Right now, begin to tell yourself a new story: you're not a person who watches porn. What does a person who doesn't watch porn do? They have different habits, a game plan in place, and a belief that porn brings nothing good to their life.


Another part of many people's battle with porn is the shame that comes along with it. Shame doesn't do us any good - unlike healthy guilt. Shame says you're disgusting, perverted, no one would understand, they'll judge you, you can control this, etc. As you begin to fight back against porn, you probably won't do it perfectly, so when you do don't beat yourself up.


Surround yourself


Don't fight this fight alone. At the very least, use an internet accountability software like Covenant Eyes or a web filter like Net Nanny. Even better though, would be to start talking to someone you trust. Who do you know that you would feel safe talking to? Tell them what you're going through and ask them to stay in touch about it. If you feel you need it, reach out to me. I'd love to help.


You can do this. You're not alone. The hard stuff is the good stuff. Fight on.

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